week 3, wednesday

[disilluded]

[Well, he sure wasn't expecting to run into Cardia, but--!!

Hello, Cardia, how is your shitty day going?]

...Cardia.

[sup.]

Comments

[discardia]

Sousei.

[ She looks about as empty and dead inside as the first time they talked, honestly. Hi. ]

[disilluded]

[WELL THEN...]

... Do not despair, Cardia. [Even though he's aware of how that all went THANKS PARTNER MINDLINK.]

[discardia]

[ To that, she starts a little, eyes widening. ]

Did he--?

[disilluded]

Surely you've felt the bond as well.

[He taps his finger over his own heart--their partner bond, and the way emotions are transferred. It wasn't hard for him to figure out something very dramatic had happened.]

I felt it, regardless what he would like to say about it. I am sorry for infringing upon your privacy in that way.

[Even though it wasn't on purpose.]

[discardia]

[ ... She had, especially since her partner's prone to dramatics, but she hadn't even thought about what her actions would have done to Sousei. The cringe is genuine. ]

No, I'm sorry... I must have put you through a lot.

[disilluded]

You have nothing to apologize for.

[Following her heart was something he had wanted her to do no matter what, wasn't it?]

You are living the best you can in a place like this. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that.

[discardia]

I knew it was a bad idea... before I even said anything. But I was just so-- angry, at what he'd made people go through, and--

[ She breaks off, shaking her head. ]

Even now... it really hurts.

[disilluded]

...And that, too, is part of being human.

[That there are things that hurt. That there are hearts in pain--that's human as well.]

There is nothing wrong with feeling that way, Cardia.

[discardia]

What... do I do now, then? What am I supposed to do?

[ this is entirely a new experience and she's going through it on her own - except now poor Rebecca is probably having to deal with it - and it's... honestly, it's a lot. ]

[disilluded]

That is something you must discover for yourself as well. It is... a part of having experiences such as this.

[He can't really help her through this one, unfortunately.]

Take the time you need to understand what you are feeling, and then you will be able to come to a conclusion.

[discardia]

Have you ever been through something like this?

[ ... no, probably not, huh. ]

[disilluded]

Like this? No.

[He's never been interested in something like this.

That said...]

But something similar, perhaps... yes, once before. [When Tenka rejected him and their ideals in favor of his family... he suspects the feelings involved might be a bit similar after all.]

[discardia]

... Did it get better? Or did you just... push it down?

[ Is it better to try to ignore it, or better to just try to get through the feelings properly? ]

[disilluded]

[...And ruefully, for her he'll admit:]

I tried to ignore it for ten years. Trust me when I say... ignoring the problem will not make it go away.

[discardia]

I thought not...

[ but she's already tired. TEN YEARS, THOUGH. ]

... I'll try to think through it on my own. But I think it's better if I don't talk to him for awhile.

I'm not ready for his kindness right now.

[disilluded]

[TEN YEARS don't take coping lessons from Sousei.]

If that is what you require, then that is what you should do. Emotions are far from a fine science, but there is nothing wrong with taking what time you must to process and react.

[He does not blame her for that.]

[discardia]

... Thank you.

[ Can she just... go lie down. ]

[disilluded]

[Yes... just go lay down... it's fine.

They can talk about more fun topics later.]