disilluded | week 3, monday morning

I won't argue against its inherent abhorrence.

[well, at least Akechi is the kind of killer who knows killing is bad]

. . . and I suppose having assistance wouldn't make you any more willing to comply?

[A slow, slow blink.]

Akechi, I am not concerned about my capability to kill another human being.

[SERIOUSLY...]

Assistance is not what I require here, and it will not change my mind. [And, a bit more sharply:] Were you not satisfied with Soo-won's life?

[haha wow. Akechi finds him stiffening at that, gaze narrowing]

Do you think I enjoy killing, Sousei-san?

I had assumed not, and yet here you are proposing yet another unnecessary murder to me.

[DO THE MATH, TANTEI-SAN.]

[LISTEN!]

[. . . no, Akechi has no excuse, he's just like this]

Are you not a military captain? What do you think of soldiers who raise their arms against their enemies during war?

I think very poorly of soldiers who raise their arms against civilians, regardless of what "side" they might fall.

[So like.

You're not getting away with this metaphor, Akechi...]

And this is not a war.

[...]

It is a situation intended on breeding paranoia, dislike and mistrust, yes. But it is not a war, and none of the killing here is justified.

I never said it was justified. Just that it was necessary.

[that's one thing Akechi has going for him, at least. he may not feel guilt for taking lives, and he may believe those deaths necessary for his own personal justice, but he doesn't try to justify them or paint them as anything but a heinous act]

It's a war, whether you wish to see it as such or not, Sousei-san. It's a "kill or be killed" situation. If you keep denying your responsibility as a historian, eventually the Crafters will have one of us after your head.

Is that a warning, or a threat?

[Sousei just snorts softly at that, eyebrow arched, arms crossed.]

Very well then. If you believe you are capable of killing me, come at me at another time, when my guard is down, and see how you fare.

[Why is Sousei like this, is the real question...]

But I will continue to do things my own way, and nothing will change that--not your pitiful attempts at justifying murdering innocent civilians, and not the Crafters and their petty little war.

. . . it's a warning.

[not a threat. he has no desire, no need to threaten Sousei, who is supposed to be an ally]

You know what our rule book says. [rules. it always goes back to rules and regulations] And none of us wish to kill you, Sousei-san. Don't force the Crafters' hands.

[Pff.]

Yes, I'm well aware of all of it. I will keep that in mind, though it is at the bottom of my concerns.

[Quite...frankly...

As for Akechi--]

Just because you got away with murder once does not mean you should do anything foolish. Your actions will catch up with you in time.

I don't intend to do anything foolish.

[he knows he's on thin ice. he knows he's on everyone's radar. they've kept him alive so far, but that can end in the blink of an eye if he isn't careful]

But as a historian, I intend to carry out the duties given to me by the Crafters.

How obedient of you.

[That's said relatively mildly, though, and then he shakes his head.]

And I will follow my own better judgment, wherever it may take me. Is there anything else, Akechi?

[. . .]

[truthfully, that's all he had really wanted to talk about. but Sousei's responses to his question get him thinking. . .]

Where is your better judgment taking you right now?

That we can complete the harmless objectives without fear, and that more objectives will be gained that way. This is only to buy us time, however--and no matter what, we must avoid the objectives that require murder and death.

Nothing will be gained by those.

That is what my better judgment states. There is still a way to finish this without dancing to the tunes of those who fancy themselves a higher power than us.

. . . I see.

[he has no immediate arguments against that, funnily enough. he doesn't think it a bad plan. but. . .?]

People like you who have started out with harmful objectives will never complete them, though.

That is correct.

[Sousei nods simply, arms crossed.]

If there are punishments for that, then I will take them as they come. I believe it is worth the risk.

[. . .]

I don't know if I consider that brave. . . or incredibly stupid.

I'm afraid I do not particularly care what you think of it.

[SHRUG.

Sorry, Akechi, them's the breaks.]

... I lived my life attempting to follow the rules, and do what was right in the confines of that structure. It...did not work. And now, I will do what I personally believe is right instead, regardless of the consequences.

[SOUSEI IS SO COOL]

[he isn't going to say that aloud, god damn it]

Traitorous captain.

[he repeats, from Sousei's tapestry]

Is that what you're referring to?

[Akechi no, he's a terrible influence.]

Correct.

I am loyal to my country, but by law, I am a traitor.

[A shake of his head, simple and calm.]

I chose to disobey direct orders to do what I felt was right, and saved lives, as well as finding a solution that was not thought possible.

What is right is not necessarily what is correct under the law.

I have done what I believe is right even though it is also not technically correct under the law.

[just. uh. his way may also not be mo. . . ral. . .]

[Uh huh.]

And it is by our morals that our actions shall be judged, and held either as just, or as wanting.

That is the inevitable outcome of such a path.

[his features twist, annoyance plainly written on his face]

. . . I don't really give a shit what anyone else thinks about me.

[he says that, but it's halfhearted]

[Uh huh. Sousei's quiet for a moment, expression plainly unruffled, before he asks simply:]

And who are you trying to convince? Me? Or yourself?

[sharply, with evident anger, and a clear inability to control same]

Nobody. There's no one to convince. It is what it is.

[You're the one getting pissy here, Akechi...

Sousei's quiet for a long moment, before he just makes a noncommittal noise, and:]

I am not here to say either way. I do not remotely care.

But I do suggest you take a very long look at yourself--as you are now, and what you truly believe, and try to come to a sincere conclusion.

You will not get far by lying to yourself.

[a low snarl]

Are you done with your lecture? I've got other business to attend to.

[you called this meeting, Akechi!1]

[He just quirks an eyebrow, waving a hand.]

Nothing is keeping you here. You may leave at will, as ever.

Very well.

We'll speak again later, I'm sure.

[and with that abrupt ending, he stalks off]

week 3, monday morning

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